I have faux self esteem.
It's true and I cannot deny my condition. I stress about getting dressed and finding something that I think I look decent in. This process can take anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes or even more. Sometimes I find an outfit to where out of the house, and I think I look pretty good and thin. See Exhibit A. Then I see a picture of myself in that very same outfit when I'm foolishly feeling good about myself and I realize my Faux Self Esteem mentality is in full force.
See Exhibit B. It's sad, really.